It's All HGTV's Fault!!

"That's right. The cable network HGTV is the real villain of the economic meltdown."

Finally! The root cause of the economic crisis has been exposed!

All this time, I thought it was just me shouting at the television as I watched whining Yuppies blather on about granite countertops.

"'How much money can these people possibly make?'" I shout at my wife before wrestling the remote from her hand and switching it to the nearest sports program. 'The guy can barely string together two sentences!'"

"And yet on episode after episode for this entire irrational decade, HGTV pumped up the housing bubble by parading the most mediocre, unworthy-looking homeowners into our living rooms to watch while they put their tacky, run-of-the-mill tract homes on the market for twice what they paid and then went out and bought houses with price tags too obscene to repeat."

"You couldn't watch these shows without concluding that you must be an idiot and a loser if you lived in a house you could actually afford."

(Photo: Kendra Todd, host of "My House is Worth What?")